Square One

I want to be ready to live. Live as myself. The more life experience I have the more I realize a lot of it just comes down to being comfortable in your own skin. Despite your circumstances. As hard as that is sometimes. With all these new and changing things and still adapting to parts of the transition, I feel like the outer situations, still being new, inhibits me from being as me as I want. I guess this is understandable, but I just want my confidence back. You know how hard it was to get where I am? Now I kinda feel like I'm back to square one. Not as bad as I used to be because at least I realize that God can bear this burden for me, it's not me on my own. And again, the bigger picture looks a lot different. And if it's for Jesus, it's all worth it. Every single thing that I've gone through is worth just living for Jesus. He's my light and favorite thing in my life. He's slowly turning my hurt into fruit...it just takes a long time I guess. Really, I am my worst enemy. I'm the reason for the delay. All my sins, the things that trip me up...guys, you have no idea. Sometimes there is so much hurt, so much pain that chokes like weeds. I can't seem to get away. He's so beautiful though, I can't even begin to touch Him.