(now how awesome is this rhyme?)
Something that I have been recognizing in my current situation is that God is preparing me. I don't know exactly what for (I have some ideas, but we all know how that goes), but I can feel it. He's working on me, fixing the things I believed that were off target, I didn't know or needed to be reminded of. He's showing me how to disciple. He's revealing more of Himself to me in a more personal way, so I can show the joy that I have because of Him to others.
Part of my preparation is the fact that He's giving me a break. From all the things that I had to do, all the roles I was in, that I identified myself with, and the leadership positions. I kind of wore myself out a bit, not all with the leadership stuff necessarily but just the stress of last year. So now I just need to participate. To learn. Learn, learn, learn, learn so that I can lead, so I can help guide and grow others (it's God who gives the growth...1 Corinthians 3:6) and grow in Christ myself. I may not be called to lead exactly right now, but I just need to be involved (leading can be done in small ways in your daily life even if you're not in a leadership position anyway, it's kinda like a type of lifestyle). This semester is a time for me to just focus on adjusting. Which is actually a lot of work. Nobody told me how hard this could be.
In the middle of it all, part of me wants to throw my hands up and say “Okay, cool. I'm tired of it all. I can stop. And I will.” The other part of me is still a bit confused. What do you mean I can’t take these steps, this initiative and be involved in this way? Why can’t I do this confrontation or whatever? Why?
Because it's all apart of His plan.