I’m worried it’s all going to be over before I know it. Ever have that feeling that something is slipping from your hands? Sure I have a few more years, which I am really excited about, but sometimes I just want things to stop. Then other times I want them to speed up. It just feels like things are slipping away faster than I can hold on.  

This is one of those times that I have to trust God's timing, because he sees the bigger picture. I do not. 

The thing is, He’s enough. All the time. I don’t have to be.

And again, I can't stop here. Ending it here would make a great blog post, but then there's the real honesty--I have to deal with that.

I still feel this blockage. This resistance that comes from me.

I want to be lost in Him, so far gone...so far gone that nothing else will ever do...

I have to take the next step. If I even claim to love Him as much as I do, calling Him "better than life", I have nothing else to do but take that step, as hard and as scary and as challenging as it may be. I remind myself that I will be safe as long as I'm in His will, I just have to get this through to my mind.

My Lord makes my life worth living,
why not tell others?

But then sometimes I look at my short comings and my non-talents and feel so inadequate. How can I go to speak up or draw up these conversations? I don't even deserve what I have--this grace--why am I called to this? If I am? I guess this is putting into play 2 Corinthians 12:9-10....living it. I really hope Christ can overcome and use my weaknesses, because I feel like He's working with a lot of broken pieces, and with someone who often feels like she's drowning in herself because that's so much of her left, instead of Christ.

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