I don't know if any of you have read Fresh Wind Fresh Fire, but you've got to pick it up. I started it on one of those quiet Saturday nights where everyone else is gone, either at home or at work. So I pick up the book, start reading and don't stop for two hours.
The one thing that I really take away from this book was the expiation that the more you realize your need for God, the more you pray. The more you pray, the more you desire to pray.
This is so relevant to my life because each and every single day I realize this need a little bit more. With this need, I have seen things change in my life--it's all about seeking Him. I never really knew how to go about that, but once you taste His goodness, you can't really even get away from this never-satisfied desire to know Him, talk to Him, reach out to God. He grows closer to us when we take these steps. I know recently, I have begun to understand what having a heart for His word means and what real prayer actually entails. My eyes and heart have been opened to receive all this information and teaching and mentoring that I have been blessed with the oppertunity to have acess to. With all this I need to apply, He guides me with a gentle hand and tells me that He's bigger than everything in my life.
Part of me wonders why no one ever told me about how exciting this part of faith is where you get to learn and see God guide you and shape you before your eyes. Maybe I'm just seeing it in a really plain way, because I know it's different for everyone. I think that people might refute this by saying "It's just a stage of your faith that you go through" but really, when you think about this, how can you not be excited about God all of the time? When does this go away? Since when does the striving for growth stop? So maybe God's been ironing out some kinks and cutting out the parts of my life that are immature and so self centered. Yes, I had them and yes, I still do. So much. But I get to grow and change and realize that everyday I get to have the love of Jesus on my side, next to me, close to me.
I lay me down I'm not my own,
I belong to you alone,
Lay me down, lay me down
Hand on my heart this much is true,
Theres no life apart from you
Lay me down