So, So Very Long Ago

So long ago was this morning.
I'm laying on my bed, Bible open, and really just think about how long the day really has been.
I'm exhausted, I have to say.
Not that it's been a bad day--it's actually been pretty good.
This whole week is learning how to readjust, and that's what takes a lot out of you.
I basically am in the process of  developing a new approach to school work and learning how exactly to apply my more alive faith.

I'm also learning a lot about the sometimes daily frustrations that throw me off so much. How little they seem! But how much damage they do. I'm beginning to learn that sometimes while being frustrated is granted, being frustrated over certain things is a sign of selfishness. It didn't go how I thought it was supposed to go, how I wanted, how I expected, how I can handle it....Oh, how we forget that we are so small. And all the while, I'm just learning how to deal with frustration in general. This is an emotion that is rarely used in my life, and makes my life extra messy and maddening when it surfaces.

However, what I do know is this: it's all about your response. How you respond not only in your actions, but your thoughts, heart and mindset. That's the real challenge, the real test. And yes, I am feeling very challenged right now. Actually, I've never felt this kind of challenged before. I can't yet put it into words. Maybe it's just called growing up and making choices. And I'm learning how to be guided, which you have to let yourself be open and receptive to that. You just have to trust like nothing else before.


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