First of all, I kinda forgot how to talk to and relate to adults. The only people I'm around are teachers--the rest are college students. So that was weird. Being thrown back in a world where everyone is significantly older than you...
One lesson I learned was that I have to remember to be all here---not missing the moment. Just giving myself permission to simply be where I am. It takes courage to do this because it's so easy to hide in the future or be consumed with the past. Way too easy and frankly, sometimes too tempting. Do it even if opening your eyes and realizing where you are with all these unknowns floating around you hurts.
Then, I have to actually learn what rest is. Why has it taken me a whole break to start to understand this? It's more of an issue of the heart, I think. You can go about and still work on the things you need to (you can be busy), but it must be done without a hurried heart--with one of peace. A peace that allows your heart and mind to rest.
Also, I 've got to realize that my life is not mine in any way--I lay me down I'm not my own, I belong to you alone--and all of my future, it's in His hands--It will be my joy to say your will your way--I can't afford to doubt anymore. I have to take that step and trust. I know my God is one of transformation, Lord of all the power and might of the oceans and the tides. Take this life and let it shine--So how come one summer with empty plans is so daunting? "Really Rachel?" I say to myself, "Hasn't He proven Him self a million times over?" Indeed He has, I just need more of Him to cure my disbelief.
Most of all, I've learned that to be who God made us to be, we must learn how to be simply ourselves.We can't deny ourselves or others ourselves. That means daring to be fully us, including your gifts, talents, passions, weaknesses, quirks and weird habits despite any other critic or obstacle you may face and knowing that God is the God of all, and the God of outcomes.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and thoughts than your thoughts."