Never Once

Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did he leave us on our own.

I think we forget this way too often. We get so immediately consumed and swallowed by our troubles it becomes hard to keep our eyes above the crashing waves.

Throughout this semester, through all the transition, all the roommates, all the change and the hurt and the regression, the fear, the tears and pain, the having nothing, the uncertainty, and the crushed hopes.....

The thing is, God was there with me. He was there even before move-in day (1 Corinthians 10:13, Psalms 18:6, 2 Corinthians 7:24) and He was already standing by my side as the next few days would change my life completely....never once would He ever let us walk on our own (I mean, we all know how that turns out, right?). He was steadfast and faithful, standing next to me, holding my hand while I began to look to Him during a time filled with tall shadows.

Away from everything I had once again, I began to see what it was like to really need. To need something that this world couldn't give me. Something bigger, a daily issue of the soul and heart.

The results of finding (how sweet a word!) after seeking so desperately? Uncontainable joy, and this peace that is an undercurrent in all things. It's something that causes you to keep your head up when your heart feels lost.

With these tangible realizations, I began to see how much it is a choice to surrender, and how much faith it takes. But when you give God yourself, oh the victory He makes of it (2 Corinthians 2:14)! The victory that He gives us is His power in us (2 Cor. 12:9-10). Sure the cost is high, it may even cost you irreplaceable things that have so much value to you. But you see, God is not a God of replacing, He is a God of completely transforming. He uses you as you are.

Everyone is talking and recapping about tests, friends, the end of semester and break and such but how many people can say that they fell completely in love with God this semester? I mean, head over heals (Psalms 63:1). Overall, God has changed my heart and renewed my soul so that I am a burning fire just for Him (Psalms 18:1, 34: 4-6, 51:10-12, 63:3, 73:25-26, 105:31-32). This rekindled love for Him is my favorite part about waking up in the mornings, and now Psalms 73:25-26 is my praise and prayer. I realize now I'm not (and never was) my own, I belong to Him alone (1 Corinthians 6:19). The thing is, I finally know what it is to hate everything else compared to how much you love your Lord (Luke 14:26).

My only hope is that my desire and love for my Lord is multiplied TEN TIMES every year, every semester, every month and every day after that.

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