It Almost Feels Normal

It almost feels like a normal day.

Dad's watching TV, Mom and Johnathan are in the kitchen cooking dinner, and I'm reading. Well, except for the fact that I'm typing. It's almost too easy to get back into that routine, the waking up and going to karate, coming back and finishing my list of things to do, closing the pool...you never realize how important to you  your patterns are until they are disrupted. They are just so easy to fall back into. You can't remember how you created the rhythm, just that its there. I can almost forget the stress and change and pain of last week as I sit here outside, at home, at peace--safe.

As much as I wish that could happen, there is still something missing. I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it is just a slight discontentment. I know that I am a different person than who I was, so my place here feels different. Part of me longs for things to go back to the way they were, but that can't happen, I can't let it. I'm not the same anymore, and haven't been for awhile. I've outgrown the place I was in, and have to keep moving forward.