It was one of those days when you are feeling so beat down by everything...
Lies creep in your head and shake the truth that you know so well.
So what did I do? I called on my God in earnest.
I am beginning to be able to discern the sincerity of my prayers more and more...
Are they real?
Are they serious?
Are they selfish?
Are they holy?
This one was sincere. I asked for God to speak to me through His word. I did my best to trust that He would answer, even though I had no idea how He would.
You know why God answered this prayer? Because it was humble. I could no longer keep these lies at bay, or try to defend myself again. Nothing I was doing was working, and I wonder if my heart was even behind it...."Do you want to get well?" is a question you must ask yourself often and honestly answer. This time, the answer was yes. That's why I left it up to God--no longer to me. This is the verse that He gave to me:
"Teach me your way O God, that I may walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart to revere your name."
So, with this newly memorized verse, I have begun to dwell on it and have decided that an undivided heart is something that I want and so desperately need. A heart all for God and none for me, one so that nothing will be anything else compared to the light of His glory in my life.