Blown Away

Ever have one of those days where you think you know what's going to happen then BAM! something ten times more wonderful does? Why should we even be surprised? This is the God we serve. Why worry or wonder about anything else?

I was praying really hard the other day just to have energy to face the day. You see, I thought I knew exactly how the day was going to go. I really thought I knew. And that's where I was wrong. Not only did I have enough energy to face the day, but I was blessed the whole entire time. Seriously, I had a great day. This is just one of the millionth times where God has blessed me abundantly and has had a good-humored laugh when He sees me trying to do things myself.

I am proven wrong so much by Him anymore. Honestly, I'm so glad. I'm tired of trying to do it on my own and live up to these expectations that aren't His. He's the only thing I need to face my day.

 

 

"Extol the glory of our God, and worship at his holy mountain; for the Lord our God is holy."

Psalms 99:9

 

 "Let us therefore approach the throne of grace with boldness so that we may receive mercy and find grace in time of need."
Hebrews 4:16

"So we can say with confidence, the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can anyone do to me?"
Hebrews 13:6

Finished Victory

A simple song lyric started this post. I don't even remember what song it was, to be honest.

But as the song played, the word victory came up and a realization hit me--that God has victory over me. My selfish ways, my sinful heart...He's already won. He's fought for me, pursued me. I am His! How great of a thing it is to be able to say.

A second song lyric that I heard was it is finished. Hearing this I realized that it IS finished. God has already won--all the things we do, no matter how many times we fail and will fail (oh, how many is that?), it's finished. He's won. There's nothing we can do to mess that up or undo what Jesus did for us. How freeing is that? That our Lord is the perfect sacrifice and our God will catch us when we fall. This mercy and grace that He has for us is of a divine nature, because I know that's the only way I can ever be saved.

 

 

Lost It

"Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually."

Psalms 105:4

Some days I feel like the post Fire. Some days, I feel as if I 've completely lost it. But reading this verse, I figured it out (as in, it spoke to me really). Seek means to actively search, not just to find. So when the waves are big and look mighty and tall, it's time to just look away from those things and set your heart on finding the Lord. We already know He never leaves us, and that He's always there. Just because we feel one way or another doesn't mean that that's how it is. So push aside your finicky feelings and take a step closer to your Savior, your God. The one whom you love because He first loved you.

At the end of the day, you really just get to see what matters. What truly matters. In the grand scheme of things, we are so little and He is so BIG. His plans for us are made of love.

Fire

I don't know if any of you have read Fresh Wind Fresh Fire, but you've got to pick it up. I started it on one of those quiet Saturday nights where everyone else is gone, either at home or at work. So I pick up the book, start reading and don't stop for two hours.

The one thing that I really take away from this book was the expiation that the more you realize your need for God, the more you pray. The more you pray, the more you desire to pray.

This is so relevant to my life because each and every single day I realize this need a little bit more. With this need, I have seen things change in my life--it's all about seeking Him. I never really knew how to go about that, but once you taste His goodness, you can't really even get away from this never-satisfied desire to know Him, talk to Him, reach out to God. He grows closer to us when we take these steps. I know recently, I have begun to understand what having a heart for His word means and what real prayer actually entails. My eyes and heart have been opened to receive all this information and teaching and mentoring that I have been blessed with the oppertunity to have acess to. With all this I need to apply, He guides me with a gentle hand and tells me that He's bigger than everything in my life.

Part  of me wonders why no one ever told me about how exciting this part of faith is where you get to learn and see God guide you and shape you before your eyes. Maybe I'm just seeing it in a really plain way, because I know it's different for everyone. I think that people might refute this by saying "It's just a stage of your faith that you go through" but really, when you think about this, how can you not be excited about God all of the time? When does this go away? Since when does the striving for growth stop? So maybe God's been ironing out some kinks and cutting out the parts of my life that are immature and so self centered. Yes, I had them and yes, I still do. So much. But I get to grow and change and realize that everyday I get to have the love of Jesus on my side, next to me, close to me.


I lay me down I'm not my own,
I belong to you alone,

Lay me down, lay me down

Hand on my heart this much is true,
Theres no life apart from you

Lay me down
Chris Tomlin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1N2SbY3dJuM

Bred for Something Different

The more I think about it, the more it seems that I'm being bred for something different.

A path that's especially different from everyone else's. I could go on and on and on with specific examples and such, but it's becoming plainer and plainer every day. I can't even believe some of the things that have happened to me lately--whether good or bad...its all got to be for something. Something BIG. Because God is a BIG God, He has BIG plans. And I'm right smack dab in the middle of them. This also means I'm not sure of what's going on all the time (aka never....) and am somewhat perpetually confused. But that's okay. It's not up to me to figure out the answers to life's biggest questions, just pursue God's will in everything I do, every aspect of my life, and all the while giving glory to Him. This is the purpose of my life.

 

Continuous Joy

"Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you so not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."

1 Peter 1:9

 

Joy. In the middle of all circumstances. This is what I want, this is what I strive for. I have been learning that when you're with God, there is a continuous joy. Something that is like a river--an undercurrent in everyday things. Even the boring things. It's almost hard to explain...and I'm still learning how to have more of it, letting it seep into everything I do. I finally get what Paul talks about--how can he be joyful in prison (because He's there for the millionth time)? Isn't that a bit discouraging? But yet he talks about joy, the beautiful joy that he has in his Lord.

This is what I've tasted, and I. Want. More.
 

 

 

 

Practice Patience

Oh the random conversations I overhear.

Right now, this is the funniest thing I've ever overheard. I am seriously holding back giggles. But I'm not even going to tell you all what it's about. Sorry. Dang, I seriously want to laugh. Anyway, I haven't been thinking about much lately. I've just been trying to survive. And get better at time management. And try to balance all of the spontaneous impromptu things that I randomly decide to do. Which may or may not be in my best academic interest. But I'm learning. And trying not to slack just because it's the end of the semester. *Sigh.* Oh my.

I just want you all to know that the reason I have such great pictures on my blog is because I am THAT person who has her phone out and is stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, is randomly rearranging something, or is bent over in a weird position trying to get the right angle. So realize the labor of love I go through by taking beautiful pictures of campus and the great outdoors (honestly it doesn't bother me being that person, I don't really care. What does make me upset is when everyone looks a bit grumpy because they miss the beautiful world around us on their way to class, but that's just me).

The more I write though, the more I think about patience. I'm learning what that looks like. And I'm also remembering how hard it is. Sometimes you have to wait a long time for something. There may be a million reasons why, and sometimes I feel as if it's because I'm not ready yet. Or this impatient version of suffering is meant to increase my endurance. I realize this, and that they are good for me. They help me grow. It's just a bit harder to put into practice. In the end though, you finally understand why you waited so long. Why you endured what you did. It also allows you to appreciate how special something or someone is. And how much more fruitful you can be in a certain position if you just wait until you're ready.