Do you ever realize how tense you shoulders are? How much tension you have in your back? It's times like these when I wish that I could just drop all that stresses me (how do you drop the future again?), and myself tells me that I can't, can't drop it or anything else at all. Even one thing would be too risky. It'd be irresponsible, unpractical, unchristian, foolish, self-indulgent, imperfect, the wrong choice, displeasing...I mean, fill in the blank with what bothers you most.
Surely though, there is a different way of doing things, another option. Catching yourself before you get to the want-to-drop everything part or your life, your day.
This is what I'm beginning to figure out, how to have enough room to breathe. I didn't write this post because I have all the answers--sorry readers, maybe in a million years. With next semester coming up, it's looking really scary. Scary because I'm at the end of myself now. There's so little of me left. God has taken me out of myself, like a child guts a pumpkin before he carves it.
These next few months have a lot of rebuilding ahead of them, with God reclaiming His rightful place at the center of me.
A pumpkin has never been carved before, not realizing that its previous identity as a veggie could be made more beautiful and for a higher purpose than a life just sitting there.
Granted this analogy is a little out of season (it seems like years away), but the matter at heart is a "now " kind of issue.
Learning how to breathe and live at the same time--not one at a time, rather, together, in sync.