The Moment You Realize WHY You Are Doing Something
With the snow is starting to melt and above negative temperatures, one thing that has been on my mind is spring break. Anyone having scary flash backs yet? This year with my spring break, I'm going to Panama City Beach, FL on a mission trip to give crazy college kids pancakes and tell them about Jesus. I love Jesus, but I pretty much hate the beach. Sure it's beautiful, but the sun, sand and salt really bother me on so many levels. Anyway, because of the sand, heat, the most horrendous schedule for a morning-person-who-REALLY-really-needs-her-at-least-eight-hours-why-is-she-even-a-college-student-in-the-first-place, and simply the fact that I flat out don't like Florida right now, well....it's looking like a struggle. A big one. Actually, the thought of it has been SO big, it's caused a lot of unnecessary worry and frustration and too much bitterness to be experiencing at once, especially with everything else that is going on in my life.
When you experience this many frustrations, it causes you to question your mindset, the state of your heart and what motives you had in the first place. Working through this is something that you just have to work out with God--sometimes it looks like a struggle. Sometimes it looks like a fight.
On this journey of working through this though, I was asked a question, "Why are you even going to do this anyway?". Right then, without a doubt I had my answer. Telling people about Jesus, this relationship I have with Him, the Grace I experience on a daily basis, and the fact that they can have this to (independent of their works) is SO much more important than my discomfort. This puts it all into perspective--it is something that I'm simply called to do--regardless of anything else. Jesus calls us to go, but doesn't promise that we will come back to anywhere but our home in Heaven.
I don't post this to brag, or draw attention to what I will be doing soon, but instead remind you all and myself that doing things that seem like they may possibly kill you in a slow aching, painful way might actually help kill your flesh, highlight God's great Grace and gain many Salvations. It's all apart of the cost of following Him.