I'm going to start off this post by saying that most of you probably missed the tee tiny bug on the flower. Just saying. He is really small though. And I didn't take this picture. Wish I had.
Anyway, this post is about the truth of resting. Ever since I've been out of school, there has been little rest. I came home for the summer, and that next week I started working and gradually took on more responsibilities as the summer went on, not to mention going out of the country for a week--that may or may not be restful. In my case, it wasn't exactly. Then sophomore year hits and everything is completely different and talk about having a completely different job and so many responsibilities! Then add school work into that. Ever since then, rest has not been present very much.
The thing about rest is that rest doesn't necessarily mean not doing anything--it's more about how you do what you do, instead of how much you do.
I knew this, but when push comes to shove, it tests you. And when the test came, I got confused.
Confused about my priorities, about my passions, about my role. About what to do, where God wanted (wants) me, about where I need to be and who I actually am verses who I am becoming.
And guess what? Nothing drives me crazier than not understanding the reason why I'm actually confused.
Part of me still doesn't understand why I got so confused so quickly these past weeks, but the other part of me knows exactly why. I took my eyes off the cross. If you want rest, if you want peace, if you want mercy and love and hope, you never take your eyes off the cross, because as soon as you do, you start to notice the things of this world and they look a lot better than they did before. Then, before you can say "Sure I'm still focused", they consumed you.
No questions asked. No second thoughts. No nothing.
Easy as pie.
Then you look up, look around and you year for resting in the unfailing presence of peace again.
The place where
the size of my God puts the rest of my life in context.
This is part of our faith. Being able to make the choice to let go, draw away from the world and draw into God. He is ultimately the one who is my father, my first love, the daily mercy I receive and a waterfall of grace.
Thank you so much Lord for saving my soul and humbling me through your grace, discipline and my circumstances and all of who you are. Keep me and hold me, and give me peace.