So maybe a blog post is long overdue.
But you know what?
It's been a rough week.
The premise is that I got a job and then worked twenty hours this past week, and as a result have struggled to keep afloat with school work and two other major responsibilities. Just so you know, asking for extensions for deadlines the second week of classes is not the way to go.
This week challenged me like I have never been challenged before. It forced me to begin to apply my faith practically and in non-direct ministry work settings...sharing the gospel looks a lot different in different places. It also made me aware of how much I still depend on me, myself and my abilities, even when faced with a further exploration of my weaknesses. I was so confused for the longest time. How was I supposed to do all that I needed to with no time? Or get enough sleep? How is adding the right amount of sauce or whip cream ministry? What does it look like to fall more in love with Jesus at work when your feet are tired and your hands are cramping and I have homework to do? How do I still minister when I am drained? How do I still love?
Well, I still may not have all of those answers yet.
But I'm figuring it out.
You know why?
Because at the cross He beckons me and draws me gently to my knees, and I become so lost for words, so lost in love that I'm sweetly broken, and have to experience another holy surrender.
God has not only shown me more of Himself, but I have been able to experience Him in a completely new way this week. Again a reminder of daily dependence and the fact that your faith is very much so a daily issue. It's really blown me away at how much He has disciplined me for the sake of His love for me. Read Hebrews 12:3-13. And Romans 8::31-35. And John 14:27. And Philippians 1:21
You know what He spoke into my life the most?
That He is steadfast, that He is humble, that His faithfulness is larger than any mountain.
You know what He said to me?
"My peace I give to you, my peace I leave with you, I do not give to you as the world gives for my love is steadfast and my heart is true, Rachel, I am for you."
There is no escaping when God grips your heart with this. I am so becoming more completely and irrevocably His, His child, a heir, apart of His love, and it's an amazing adventure, and the fact that He has my heart is the only way I get through my day. My hope for you all is that you are able so experience this no-turning-back power of His greatness and majesty like I have this week. I guess I can't wait to see what's next. Just to follow Him is [my] life.