Care

Care.

Oh the strength of that word. One part of God that I learned (really, re-discovered, but I'm still learning it) is the fact that he cares for us when we are at our weakest and most vulnerable. When we have been fighting the good fight and have been on the journey to get us to that point, we are weary. Tired. Worn. Drained. But God still provides. Whatever it is that He knows you need--food, rest, a conversation, a hug, a smile, a person. God is a good God who comes and protects us when we are at this point. He is the guard and the caretaker for our spent souls all at once. He is an all-consuming fire that engulfs those who try to lay a hand on us. This is the God we work for, labor for. The one who loves, fights and passionately pursues us. That's why I love Him.

Falling into Place

Sometimes I feel like everything is falling into place. I know that's God, just the same as when everything else is falling apart. It's a breath of fresh air when you can just focus on the present and not have to worry about the things that happened in your past. This is the focus, the focus on living, breathing. Breathing Him in.

Then again, it still takes a lot of prayer and seeking to iron out all the grey parts. Do they ever go away? Not really. But they don't matter when you look to God for your purpose (Romans 8:28).

 

Seized

All those times when you are seized by those moments of stress, I have to remember who I put my trust in “…for I know the one whom I have put my trust in…” (2 Timothy 1:12). We know don’t we? He is the one we serve, the one who we give every aspect of our lives and who we relinquished our control to.

The stress, worry, fear, and uncertainties that constrict you heart like two pythons squeezes out your confidence, shaking your submission and dependence. These are the times when we may struggle to keep the bigger picture in mind, when we fight to keep our gaze on things above and refuse to shake with fear at how tremendously huge the waves are. The noise, the wind, the distractions….oh how much we needd His embrace. How nothing even compares. Nothing.

But it doesn’t stop there. He pursues us when we push Him away, holds us when we can’t seem to let go and just be in His embrace. How thankful I am for that. So thankful. Anybody else would have just dropped me on the street and left me on my own. Especially by now. It seems that the more I realize that I have this indescribable need for Him, the more sick I seem, the more haunted and plagued by things of this world, things of Satan and of my own self. How horribly sick I am! And yet He still pursues.

You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin

You are peace, You are peace
When my fear is crippling
You are true, You are true
Even in my wandering
You are joy, You are joy
You're the reason that I sing
You are life, You are life,
In You death has lost its sting

Oh, I'm running to Your arms,
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

You are more, You are more
Than my words will ever say
You are Lord, You are Lord
All creation will proclaim
You are here, You are here
In Your presence I'm made whole
You are God, You are God
Of all else I'm letting go

Oh, I'm running to Your arms,
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign

Forever Reign

  

Charged

Sometimes my days are so charged with emotion and so many ups and downs I can't even begin to tell you what my day has even been like. I never really knew that so much could happen in a day, or that it could go so fast and slow at the same time.

With all the things that I'm learning and what I need do to make sure I really learn it, it's a lot. All at once. These people, places, things that are coming up...I'm slightly tired and not exactly sure how to handle all of this. And sometimes even the good things are not always good. There are bright spots, usually moments spent talking to God, or learning some truth/realization or talking with certain people. Then I look at tomorrow. And sometimes that frightens me. How will I keep my eyes on God and things above when I know the business that threatens to consume me when it's not even that day yet? How is that going to work? I think instead of drilling the focus, focus, focus (which is a bit more about me, what I can to do make things better and to focus on Him...that's the problem, the "I" and "me", even if I have good intentions) like I have been for sometime, I need to relax into His presence more and more. And just breathe.

I came across Psalms 19:7. "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul..." and saw that I need to let that happen. However that may be. I think it's different for every person, but there is a common thread of letting Him be in control of your life, not you. So this brings up the question: What do you need to do to let God revive your soul? The truth is, now matter what condition you're in, you need this. You need Him. Read Psalms 19 if you don't have a place to start.

Reminder

Do you know how good it is to be on your own bed with your cat laying down against the length of your back?

I forgot how good it was to come home.

I seems in the middle of everything, all this busyness, this chaos, these distractions, the stress, I have forgotten how to rest. Coming home reminds me that at the speed I am going (which is very fast) I have to make it a priority to refuel.

When I come home, apaart of me is scared that everything I have at school is just a dream, and will disappear when I'm gone. I never want to loose it, and never in a million years did I ever think that I would have the quality (not necessarily the quantity, but that too) of things that I have here.

It's hard sometimes to tell which is my real life (home or school), when I guess they both are...I just feel more grounded at school because there is routine, stuff to do and classes and homework to focus on. But it's nice to pet my puppy sitting at my feet while I type this. :)

And you know, everything else, when you learn to live only half a room and a mini fridge and no toaster for your bagels or Poptarts (trust me, microwaved Poptarts are just not the same), the things like TV and all these expensive entertainment luxuries just don't matter. There is no appeal anymore. I just want to talk with people. Talk. Spend time with them, get to know (and re-know) them and just catch up. This happened when my brother and I sat up the night I came home and talked until two in the morning. So much for extra sleep.

Even though, sometimes I am SO convinced I am the most BLESSED person in the WORLD. I have so much. And yes, Jesus loves me. He gave Himself for me and for you.

Pumpkins Galore

So maybe I have a seasonal obsession. It's not dressing up. Not trick or treating. It's pumpkin carving. I'm not sure why, but I think it's one of the most fun things you can do to celebrate fall. Especially if it's with your family. These are just some pictures of all the pumpkins that have come and gone in my fall. 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Google Translate version of "My Lord" in Hebrew

 

And then there's this one....

 

 

Waffle House Happenings

I'm starting to see these things coming together. I'm not sure how, but my life just looks more and more like God has His hands in it. It's not just the big things either, it's the details all the way down to the scheduling and timing of what happens in my day. It's crazy. I underestimate Him so much with all these expectations that I have. Now that I have become more attuned to His presence, I see Him in the people I reconnect with...the people I have bonds with that will never fade away.

One example of this is Waffle House....

My friends Jessie and I have a lot in common. When we figured out that we both go to WKU (we haven't seen each other since freshman year of high school) we decided we needed to catch up. We did this by going to Waffle House at 7:30 in the morning. As a morning person, this is just about the coolest thing that can happen on a Friday when you have no classes. I'm SO excited to go, even if I'm lacking a few hours of sleep. Seriously, a chocolate chip waffle is a pretty good motivator. As I sit here right now typing this, I really want another waffle. I do. Overall though, it's a good place to sit and talk and catch up about the things that are going on. Having a place far away from everything that is so routinely daily just to get out and go and leave and LIVE sometimes is so nice. And having the right person to share it with is necessary too. When these combine, you have a recipe for success and a good time. Although the bottom of my laptop is probably slightly sticky with syrup, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.