So What Happens When You Get There...

When you are somewhere you don't really want to be, I've learned that its a necessity to check your heart--not just check it, but seriously keep tabs on it. Like, follow it like you follow your favorite person to follow on twitter or instagram. If you're not careful, you will find your own self creeping into the center of your universe, thinking that somehow this ministry that you are doing all depends on you...

But guess what?
Once again, it's not about you. It's not about me. 

It's not even about how much you can get done, how much ground I can cover in the shortest distance. Obviously that doesn't really translate to when you're directly dealing with people, but sometimes I get so obsessed with growth and measuring things and just simply being productive that I once again forget that I can't do everything, and I can't do everything at once. It's not even feasible, and it's certainly not very fun.

But guess what?
Sometimes less is so, so much more. 

And then the trip reached the point that brought forth the big question that God really brought to my mind. I was asked if I really believed that He was faithful. My answer? Well, let's just say it's not quite aligned with what the Bible (and the very good Lord himself!) deems as divine consistency.

But guess what?
It's okay to be in that place...sometimes you have to be there before you get to be somewhere else.

Although I am no longer in Panama, I may still be in that place. I'm not out of it yet. I still doubt and protest, feel selfishly entitled and can't seem to sit still to just listen, much less focus my attention on the things on the Spirit.

But guess what?
This new awareness of my sin increases my desire to be closer to the Lord, to know the truth of His Word and to truly experience His Greatness and the Grace that is for me and for you. All the time. Every day. Even now. For even you....

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, 

his mercies never come to an end; 

they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23