Honduras

So...have you ever gotten an awesome once in a life time opportunity?

I have, and it is a gift.

I will be going with my church to Honduras this June on a mission trip to reach the people there. This is one of those times when you are overwhelmed with excitement, and honestly, I don't know exactly what I've gotten myself into. Wait for it--story of my life.
The thing is, its easy to keep simple: I am going to spread the gospel and the love of Christ to everyone I meet, live consumed with God, and pour out blessings to others as they have been so lavishly poured out on me. I just want to love people in Honduras.

So, I ask for prayers of preparation and will make sure to keep you all updated. Its kinda far away right now, but I'm sure it will be June before any of us can blink.

 

What IF

What if it's too much of a responsibility?

What if it's too hard?


What if I can't do it?



This is the point.

I can't.

Why do I still act like I can?

Or think I should?

How many times do I catch myself living for myself?

Lately God has convicted me of my attitude--I live so much for myself.  This verse is one that reminds me what I strive for, what my deepest desire should be, and that the only reason I matter is that Christ loved me first.

 

"Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ. More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the lost of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness from God based on faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

Philippians 3:7-11

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Help of Hope

When you are struggling with all that you are overwhelmed with, you can really see God’s answers to prayers more clearly. My God is one who equips us to love others even when we feel frazzled and so, so busy. But through people and little ways, He SHINES His glory like nothing else in my whole LIFE! My Lord is so, so good. The thing is, He is this way all of the time, even when I feel confused.

This has recently been the story of my life. Confusion, I am finding out is my new enemy. Confusion in what to do, what not to do, and when to wait. I just don't understand these things and know I definitely don't have the answers to any of this. The whole thing is really humbling--it reveals what I lack, which is so, so much.

 

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

 

 

Today was one of those days when you feel so overwhelmed you don't even know what to do. You loose sight of your vision, your hope, when you look at the waves surround you.

 

Well guess what God reminded me of this day? None of it even matters. NONE of it.

 

 

"Yet whatever gains I had, these I have come to regard as loss because of Christ.  More than that, I regard everything as loss because of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ  and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but one that comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God based on faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the sharing of his sufferings by becoming like him in his death, if somehow I may attain the resurrection from the dead."

Philippians 3:7-11

 

 

 

This is the hope that we cling to, that we love, that we need.

 

All that I am for all that you are, my Lord,

All that I have for all that you are, You're the

Pearl beyond price, greater than life
All that I am for all that You are

Selfish ambition and my pride
I'm giving up, I'm letting die
In these empty hands I have it all, have it all
The pure joy of knowing You, my Lord

 

 

 

 

 



Back to Princeton

Princeton. I got to go back again this past weekend with a few of the people I served with before.

It's really funny what can happen in one weekend.

I get to say, after this weekend, my Lord is BIG, ACTIVE and ALIVE in me and the world I'm in.

God has been teaching me a lot lately. He's changing my attitude, my heart and all of my desires, bringing me closer to Him, one moment at a time.
It hurts. A lot. Sometimes more than I would like to admit to myself. He just breaks me, so He can have all of me and transform me from there.

One thing I went into this weekend with was thought of big prayers. BIG ones. Praying the ones that you think are impossible. The more I learn about prayer is that yes, God answers prayers (my life and I are living proof of that), but He kinda takes His own route. Praying for something big may not look big on the outside--it may be big on the inside. It may not even come in large flashing lights. Lava is a good metaphor. Something slow, that you can't always see on the surface, but can't stop the effects of once it's moving. This is often how God works. The thing is, when God works to change hearts, it's is a slow process sometimes, and it takes awhile for it to show how it's supposed to. But God, He has His ways. We just need to step out of the way and let Him work, and not depend on measurable results.

I also learned something that I probably should have long ago. I do not need a specific people group to reach out to, I do not need a heart for a specific place to go spread the gospel or work with. I need a heart for ALL PEOPLE, lost or saved, black or white, Spanish or German, virgin or not, handicapped or whole, boy or girl, gay or straight, damaged or fine, Pashtun or Chadian, Shelbyville or Princeton.............



With my everyday life, my job is to leave a legacy. One pointing back to Christ.

This is what I remember when school gets in the way, when there is no name for feelings I feel, when I am so confused, when I fail, when I'm late to class and blank on a test, when I take on too much to do, when I miss my family or my pets, when I trip and scrape my knee. This redeeming love is something I can no longer contain.

Romans 6:17-19, 2 Corinthians 5:17

 

My should cries out, holy, holy

My heart is lost in your beauty

All hope is found in your mercy

You paid the price

So I am finally free!

 

You Will Lead Us

Sometimes God calls us to confusing things. Or rather, they are confusing to us in the moment. This is me right now. I see only the tip of the iceberg in all that God is doing and about to do in my life. Right now, in this time where I have to be patient in waiting for direction and long-term decision guidance, I have to have the hope that God gives me, that He will lead me through the storm. I also have continue to kill my flesh, fall more in love with God and His son and tell others about the peace I have in HIM! Waiting just takes a lot of faith.

So now, I need prayers for discernment, for I no longer desire to act on anything that comes from me because I'm just gonna make a mistake. God's timing and words, I know, are just so much more than mine.

 

In my wrestling and in my doubts
In my failures You won't walk out
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

In the silence, You won't let go
In my questions, Your truth will hold
Your great love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

My Lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness, I will follow You
My Lighthouse, my Lighthouse
I will trust the promise,
You will carry me safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore (Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Safe to shore

I won't fear what tomorrow brings
With each morning I'll rise and sing
My God's love will lead me through
You are the peace in my troubled sea
You are the peace in my troubled sea

Fire before us, You're the brightest
You will lead us through the storms

My Lighthouse

By Rend Collective Experiment

Input and Output

Well, well, well.


It just clicks sometimes, doesn't it?

This discontent I had been feeling now makes sense. With all the inpouring I have been receiving from so many people and so much time spent with them in the Word, I felt limited in my outpouring. In Princeton and at Dnows, I simply have a week or weekend  just to give back and share what I was learning and give apart of me to others. Now that I'm back, I have to be able to translate that into my daily, daily, life.

I really like being surprised by God and what He does with this. What He puts in my life, and what He reveals to me--the things that are already there right in front of me.

What I've learned to do more is expect. Expect results because God shows up. In so many way, at so many times, the whole world is subject to Him (Philippians 3:20-21)

 

 

How Much We Need It

I am just sitting here typing, and just enjoying the fact that I can just use my blog to glorify God. Seriously, I just get to write about how good He is. This is something that makes me happy, and the hope that I remember I have just fills my heart so much. It's such an everyday thing.The trust that we put in Him brings forth peace, especially in the times of trouble that come. He just makes my heart so glad, with His peace and how He is teaching me to expect results, to expect His care and comfort and provision--how much we need it!

"Blessed be the Lord, who daily bears us up; God is our salvation. Our God is a God of salvation, and to God, the Lord, belongs escape from death."

Psalms 68:19-20